I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
