Soap is not a condiment
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
