Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
