uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
