I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
