When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
