when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize