You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
