Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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