i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
