How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
