when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
