So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
