his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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