He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
