i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
