I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
