I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize