im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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