Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
