Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
