Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize