Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he shaved USA in his pubs
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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