i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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