I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
