so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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