You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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