porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
