Say something about gay babies.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I have post one night stand depression
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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