Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
