Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
