My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
