all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
