You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
In other news, I just burned my penis
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize