Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
