Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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