I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
