Sponge bath it is.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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