ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
