Pappa wants mamma naked
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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