Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
