you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
