Don't make out with my wife yet
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
