He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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