Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
