So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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