so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
