I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
