I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
