Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
