It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
