This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
