ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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