Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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