Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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