I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
