I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize