know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
