Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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