and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
