It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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