help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
