Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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