So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
