btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
