I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
