so that wasnt chicken after all
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
