There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
